What I precisely see right now in front of me is a blank Word Document and I crave to write. I did not write anything yesterday because I wanted people who stumble upon my blog to go through the Women of Iran and the 9/11 posts. They seemed a little more imperative to me and they were worthy of consideration. Accordingly I pestered myself not to write.(So, if you haven’t glanced at these mentioned posts yet, please have a look because they make a million times more sense than this one) When I started writing just now (and mind you the page is not blank anymore); I had a lot on my mind. I was reading about the launch of the iPhone 5 and then on the subject of the attack on a US consulate in Libya and all right, I might come up with something on these themes but for now, I wanted to spare a moment for myself. I was even speculating on the instigation of a new blog dedicated solely to my rants or sentiments which not a soul would be interested in. You know, I am considered as this ‘knowledge sharer’ sort of a girl and that is what most of the people who read this blog expect out of me. At this instant, I feel exhausted.
The last few days have been sort of frenzied. There is a tad too much to do and be bothered of that it upsets me now and again. I find my solace in writing but it further annoys me if what I write down doesn’t turn out to be all that great, inspirational and momentous (the way it is happening at the moment, yes I am aggravated). At times I feel I must sleep for 30 hours straight to bring myself back to my ‘form’ or I need an extended vacation, away from the accustomed chores, tribulations, uncertainties and emotional ins and outs. Needless to say: I need a break.
Besides, there is a good deal happening in a ‘not so happy’ manner, day after day. Monday, a sardonic friend declared that he found my blog a copy-pasted endeavor where he couldn’t see any creativity (and I wanted to yell out at him for being so conceited and inconsiderate because I am working real hard and I know that). Tuesday, my brother informed that he won’t come over to visit me during the weekend as he had promised close to a month ago. Wednesday, my roommate told me that she is relocating to another city and it has been so hard-hitting to put up with it since we were really close. Today, it’s Thursday and I do not known what’s in store for me.
My sole rationale here (at this blog) was to make people aware for the reason that most of the population that surrounds me is uninformed and slipshod; even I was, once upon a time. Then, something took me by a storm and I became inquisitive and curious; curious to discover various incidents and episodes; curious to read stories that had never existed for me, in reality. And curious to communicate. In the process of reading and sharing, I became conscious of the fact that I needed the liberty to find an expression for my feelings as well. This blog is a space where there is all of it about the world, sports, women, a bit of technology, stories from the past, attention-grabbing tales of interesting people, occurrences that ought to be shared and sure, it envelopes me too. My thoughts. My emotions. My ideas. My beliefs. ME. This time I wouldn’t really be offended if the Stats page doesn’t demonstrate a good enough number of readers for this post. I wouldn’t wait for people to read it; neither would I share it on Facebook, because today, whatever I composed is for myself. At the end of it, I feel comforted because I wrote, even though it is meaningless but it exists. Like I do.