Blank, Bored, Sick!

I am a little too blank because I do not have a good enough thing to write about. I feel as if my heart and mind is blocked and nothing exists. Nothing at all. Moreover I feel so weak to think, to read, to write, to feel. I hate being sick. I remember how I loved sickness when I was small. I was one of those girls who had the strongest immune system and I could never fall sick, even though I wanted to. I liked being ill because it just felt good to see people care for you. I sort of enjoyed all the attention. What could be better than lying on a bed, listening to music or reading a novel and people running around you with healthy food, fruits, juices, soups and a lot of love? Of course, the medicines were there too. Sometimes I liked them and sometimes I didn’t  However, they were manageable if they brought along all the positive aspects of being sick. Alas, I rarely fell ill.

I-am-sick

At present, things have changed. I am suffering since the last eight days and I am so bored. I mean give me a different thing God, this is boring! I was just thinking about the reasons I detest being sick this time and I jotted down the following. I just thought I would share these with you since I have nothing better to pass on right now (and trust me I am apologetic but helpless).

  1. No matter what I eat, my stomach starts aching. I have become somewhat scared of food but I feel so dead if I quit eating. It’s just so tough and complicated to manage.
  2. Every now and then I start feeling unconscious, I feel I am going to faint. But, I do not faint. Now how is that helpful?
  3. I am not enjoying this sickness because I do not have people around all the time. I hate being alone when I am unwell but now since I stay away from my family, I cannot have someone with me who would take care of me at all times of the day.
  4. I cannot read too much. I start feeling dizzy when I do that. As a result, I am not able to read since so many days and believe me, it sucks.
  5. Also, it’s tough to write. I can ramble about things I am going through (like I am doing now) but it is a little difficult to write something worthwhile since I cannot concentrate. That is one reason that my blog doesn’t get updated frequently now. I have to do something about it!
  6. I have got a bad throat infection owing to which my voice sounds horrible and I also do not feel like speaking too much.
  7. The medicines that I was advised for my throat illness conflict with my stomach infection and things get worse when I try working out on both the problems.
  8. I have to come to office everyday because I cannot take leaves since I need to save them for better times, like when I want to go home or on a trip with friends.
  9. I cannot get a sound sleep. I get up again and again throughout the night, feel sick, try to go back to sleep and get up yet again.
  10. My stomach hurts a lot even if I laugh too much. (Sigh!!!)
  11. I call up my best friends or mom and just keep crying because I feel forlorn and awful. Even they have become so irritated now.
  12. It is really a bad feeling to look at people eating all the stuff that you love but you have to control yourself, no matter what.
  13. We have an awesome yearly office party at a disc today which I might not attend because I am not in the perfect condition. I was so excited about this event since months but now I am skeptical about it. Nevertheless, even if I do go there, I would not be able to eat or dance. That is pathetic!
  14. I feel like lying down all the time but I don’t fall asleep very easily and my waist hurts if I lie down too much.
  15. It’s obviously hard to find out what I should eat and what not. Now, even if I do discover things that might make my stomach hurt a little lesser, it’s tough to bring myself up to cooking them.
  16. My saliva tastes bitter. Even that reminds me all the time that I am not perfectly al right.
  17. I feel feverish very often and then it dies down.
  18. I hate going to doctors. Really hate it.
  19. I get so annoyed by little things. It’s just not happening the way it should. Lol
  20. I really miss home.

There might be more but I am too wound up and drained to think of it. I leave you all at this. I know not many people would be tolerant enough to read the whole of it but if you have held on till now, I just want to say- Thank You! Also, I am sure I will get fine soon and then I would not irk you all with my blather.

Keep Reading and Keep Smiling 🙂

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5 responses to “Blank, Bored, Sick!

  1. Sad to know about ur condition, but may be I can help a little. I do this little trick to Buckup myself when doing something physical n also when sick. I think fevers are 40% biological n 60% mental. Just dont think that u are sick, tell urself u are getting better n u r trying for it; the medicine u take are going to help you. 🙂 Surely u’ll improve fast.
    Also get up early in mornings n just try to feel the morning breeze, its very soothing, just try an early morning walk(but dont catch cold from the current weather). Early to bed Early to rise is a gr8 principle to follow. Also to increase your immune power go for Juices eat beetroot, it has lots of iron. Office is good place to have all sorts of jucies. All this may sound tough n pretty strange but works. Give a try.

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