It took me some time to grasp it in. I wanted to give words to my feelings, to the disenchantment, to the apprehension and the helplessness. However, I needed time to find a direction for my sentiments. I needed a while to stare at those twenty young faces that lost their smiles, their dreams, their enthusiasm, their ideas and their lives. The incident broke my heart. It brought back to me the dash of emotions I felt when Anders Breivik killed people in Norway or when a white supremacist shot devotees in the Wisconsin Gurudwara. It brought back the dread that I sensed when guiltless people were killed in Aurora. Yet, this time it has been a lot more gruesome, dismal and nerve-wrecking. That man, Adam Sanza, killed babies. It gives me goose bumps when I think of my little nieces, nephews and cousins whom I love so dearly, whose lives are yet to ‘begin’, whose smiles bring an end to every sorrow; they are babies too.
I am going through a muddle of varied emotions and the more I read, the more it happens. You really should read this and this and even this to get a glimpse of how I have been feeling. The world is trying to find out the rationale behind this massacre. Some say it’s because of the gun laws in the US. Some claim that the killer suffered from a mental illness, fairly related to Autism. Some even call it an act of violence directed towards young children by a psychopath who remained aloof, had some psychological problems, was putting up with the Asperger’s syndrome and detested being around people. Nevertheless, for me, none of this justifies the homicide of 26 innocent lives. If you talk about guns, the laws need to amend because somehow this would prevent another narcissistic and wacky individual from carrying out wretched acts of bloodshed with such ease. There are discussions all over about the Second Amendment in the US Laws which allows its citizens to have an access to guns. A report asserted that there are eighty-eight guns for every hundred Americans and in the state of Texas, you can buy and own a gun without a license for the same. May be, ‘gun’ is the word.
This Friday, another violent outbreak took place in China in an elementary school. I didn’t know about this until today morning. A possibly mentally ill man entered a primary school in Central China and stabbed twenty-two children, aged between six and twelve years old, with a knife. There are certain things similar about these two assails. Firstly, both were carried out by mentally disturbed people. Secondly, in both the attacks, young children were the victims. Also, they took place on the same morning of 14th December 2012. Now, let me bring forth the differences between the two assaults. To begin with, the first one happened in China, while the second in Connecticut, America. The first attack was carried out with a knife whereas the second one involved an assault rifle. Lastly, none of the twenty-two kids died in the first although all the twenty children and six adults lost their lives in the second. Does this mean that if the gun laws were as strict in the US as in China, those twenty –six dead could have remained alive?
I read a post on this issue by a fellow blogger at WordPress. It got me thinking about blaming ‘autism’ for the attacker’s instinct which stimulated him to kill his mother by shooting her face multiple times, followed by killing twenty six people in a school and eventually killing himself. The writer has a five year old beautiful daughter who is autistic and I can clearly understand her twinge when her little child is compared to a brutal murderer and not to those harmless, lovely kids whom he killed. I can’t believe that every autistic human being could be so treacherous. It has to be something else. It really must be something else.
What I know right now is that, we are all in this together. I can feel the pain of the teacher whose little student told her not to worry since he knew Karate and he would drive out the bad boys. Now that child is dead. I can cry at the sorrow of that sister whose brother was shot while she was sitting in the adjacent classroom. I can sense how it must be for those parents whose homes are filled with soft toys and little trucks and puzzles and dolls and yet the reason behind having it all is lost. I can just imagine how it must have been for Nancy Sanza, Adam’s mother, who was shot by her own son. The only thing I can feel, see, hear, experience and wonder about is pain. An endless, perplexing, hard-hitting pain. God bless the little angels and their guiding stars. That’s all I have to say for now.