Hey! I am back for a moment, not entirely to be honest. I feel caught up with so many things and situations and expectations and people that I do not get to write; like really write. It has been such a long time since I last wrote and felt good about it. Today, my basic motivation to write is just the fact that I have been away from writing for a while and I do not wish to widen this gap as days pass by.
The last time that I wrote, I talked about depression. So, if you’re in the least interested in knowing about it, I’d just say I am better and saner now. I have somehow learnt to accept things the way they are. I am not sure how positive and useful this acceptance turns out to be. I mean obviously one shouldn’t accept everything; we always need that streak within us that pushes us towards our dreams and ambitions. How can I ever fulfill my aspirations if I easily accept life the way it turns out to be? Yes, so I conclude that acceptance is not the right approach to live an absolute life.
I am entangled in this whole concept of ‘needs’ and ‘wants’. I do not know what a person should really work for; for the stuff one needs or that that he/she wants. Think about it. Suppose you have some money and you really need to ‘eat’ but you want to go and watch a movie with it on a subject you’re truly fanatical about. You are sure you would not get enough money to go to the theatre in the next few days, but with the money you presently have, you can at least eat good food for two days. What would you do? Would you eat or watch that movie? Would you pick what you need or opt for what you want? I am thinking about this scenario. Suppose I run after my needs and go and eat some food; I would be upset once I am full for not having watched that movie because I so desperately wanted to watch it. Now, presume that I do just the opposite. I go for the movie. I would enjoy it, feel delightful that I am watching it at last but when I am half-way through, I would start feeling very hungry. I would probably not be able to concentrate on my passion because I would need something to eat and the whole realization that I wouldn’t be able to eat anything at all for the next two days just because I chose to watch this movie would rather kill me. What is the right path then: your need or your want?
I do not wish to find practical solutions for this question. I want something that comes straight from a person’s heart. I take in whatever I get from life, whether it is something I need, something I want or something that I neither need nor want. I open up my arms to embrace every little present that life gives to me. However, here’s my confession: acceptance doesn’t always keep me happy and I just know what my sole rationale for survival always was and still is: Happiness.
For today, I leave you with this contemplation. If you are reading this, just think about it and let me know what you would run after. What would keep you happy? I am waiting. Seriously waiting!