Condition Serious!

He probably doesn’t love his wife as much. But, what can be so wrong with his 2-year old son? I never get that. Or does he detest kids? What else could be the reason for my manager to come to office sharp at 9 am and leave only after the last person has left his/her cubicle. My life was oh! so pleasant before I knew this murky, flabby, workaholic, peculiar man who calls me abnormal. You know why? Because normal people don’t write. Ha!

He makes lives miserable, he breaks hearts, he slays dreams, he ruins friendships and he loves being wicked. Doesn’t this remind you of one of those Bollywood con men or villains who just know what it takes to exasperate the hero? I am the hero here and I have no idea whether I’d win the game. I am supposed to right? After all, the baddies don’t get to be victorious in the end. Alas! I am still in speculation about this serious tale.

I went to office one morning. Yes, at 9:30 am. He gaped at me like I had done one big offense. I kept telling myself: ‘It’s okay baby. Life’s going to be lively again. There’ll be love, there’ll be fun, there’ll be…”

‘Why are you late? We have an important build today. Prepare the manuals, check the deployment, co-ordinate with your team mates, get done with the reports and don’t go for lunch.’

He said all of this without inhaling or exhaling a gulp of air and left. Everything else seemed tolerable but what about ‘lunch’. I wasn’t allowed to go for lunch. It smashed my heart. I love food. Who is to blame?

I worked on all the reports and manuals and builds by 1 pm. Wow! Did that mean I could go for lunch? Not really. He came and sat with me in my cubicle and started working on my system. The whole thing was done. We had to just copy-paste a huge zip file from one place to another. He copied it and clicked the paste button on the server’s IP address. It said- ’90 minutes remaining.’ I thought that was more than enough for me to go, have lunch with my friends and come back. There’d certainly be another 50 minutes left for this thing to get pasted. However, this man suffers from some serious condition syndrome. We sat there, for plain 90 minutes, looking at the progress bar. The only color my life had was green as the movement of this copy-paste was to be stared at for those 5400 seconds. We both sat silently and looked at the screen like scientists scrutinize a sleeping rat they are expected to test. No words, no ideas, no colors; just that green strip laughing at me as I prepared myself for yet another day without lunch.

As the dialog box said, 30 seconds left, he smiled and said-‘You can eat all you want, now!’

Oh no! Don’t feel awful. You want to help me right? Look at this page and just give this man a five star. After all, iski condition serious hai!


For those who’re serious!

Note: This post has been written for the IndiBlogger contest: Condition Serious Hai. And yes, this is a work of fiction (May be 😛 )

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