I never really realized at what point did I enter the realm of womanhood from being the rebellious yet confused young girl who deeply believed in fantasies and miracles. Growing up, I constantly talked to myself. I had friends. I have friends. But even today what truly adds to my existence and understanding are the times I embrace my solitude and acknowledge how real I am.
When I got up today in the morning, I quietly dreaded another day where I’d be faced with disappointment, anxiety and a fear of the unknown. But I also carried some hope in my heart. Isn’t that what a lot of us do? We don’t lose hope. We never will even if we miserably claim that nothing will ever get better. It will and it does.
In the last few years, I have constantly fought for everything I believed in. A lot of these fights were way more disturbing and difficult because I am a girl. A woman. Apparently the weaker gender, the one that’s supposed to be more submissive. And day after day, that’s what I rallied against. Still do.
When you’re a female, the society judges you on an altogether different standard. You’re the nurturer but also the one expected to sacrifice. You’re the goddess but also the one blamed for your own sexual harassment. You’re the source of strength for many others around you but also the one who is considered unnecessarily delicate and sensitive.
For many men and women, it’s unacceptable to let a woman take charge, to let her strength overpower the baseless rules of society and existence. And that’s why we women fight at every step toward our success. We strive hard to make dreams come true and even harder to hold on to the relationships that in fact break us, day after day.
Some people, especially men, who are close to me believe I am a difficult woman to handle. My father feels that too. I have always been the rebel, the exact opposite of what an ideal woman is supposed to be. I have carved my own path and I have failed, several times. That in itself gives many the prospect to prove how right they are and how wrong I am.
I am wondering whether the society and its people would ever really accept the truths about womanhood and about the incredible strength women embody. It’s exciting to see women who are out-of-the-ordinary, women who fight, those who are blunt and resilient and shrewd. It’s thrilling to see women who battle patriarchy, rise up against other men and women and those who exert power.
But, for the men who’re reading this, do you really like these women as real humans? Do you really appreciate and acknowledge their existence, their aspirations and emotions?
The one thing that really hit me hard this last week and in some way inspired me to think and write was an excerpt I read on the internet. I am sharing it here and I hope it hits you hard too. I hope it makes you realize all that I want to say.
“Every one wants a strong woman
until she actually stands up,
flexes her muscles,
projects her voice
Suddenly she is too much.
She has forgotten her place.
You love these women
as ideas, as fantasies
Not as breathing, living human beings
threatening to be even better
than you could ever be.”
We exist. And we’ll continue to exist. All you can do is, open your arms and embrace us. Or continue living in the falsity of your being.
[The above picture was taken by Michał Koralewski]